“Social media has made too many of you comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the mouth for it.”

Now that society is ultra-connected via social media platforms, it seems there is an incredible number of Twitter arguments, Instagram beefs, and just plain bickering, arguing, and flat out insulting everywhere on the internet. Especially in my industry (come to think of it, I’m involved in a number of related industries...Fitness, Health & Wellness, Sports Performance etc) it seems no one is safe. Whatever your stance on a particular topic is, no matter how basic or insignificant in the grand scheme of things, there will be a horde of keyboard warriors ready to tie you to the stake. Some particularly good ones I’ve seen recently; Vegan vs. Carnivore Diet, Squats vs. Single Leg Squats, Yanny vs. Laurel...this list goes on!

Some of these individuals are generally uneducated in the subjects they are commenting on so it’s easy to ignore them, but even the most educated and decorated members of my field (and many other fields) are at each other’s throats, ready to jump on any tweet, claim, citation, or even grammatical errors (seriously, just because I missed a semi-colon or forgot an apostrophe doesn’t mean I’m wrong, uneducated, or unfit to have my opinion, unless you use ‘there’ instead of ‘their’...then you are dumb and should delete all your accounts and never speak on any topic, let alone leave your house, EVER AGAIN!). As well, if you’ve ever been part of a twitter feud, you know it is an exercise in futility as you will never change the other person’s mind with even the most well-articulated retore. Come to think of it, you probably won’t change YOUR opinion either.

It gets very tiring to read endless disagreements and namecalling when really all I want is to engage with many different opinions and arguments on a variety of subjects, so I can explore different sources and subject matter to come up with my own conclusions. Just because someone pwned that newb in a twitter exchange doesn’t suddenly make his opinion correct and the newbs obsolete. It is much more refreshing when you find those intelligent corners of the internet where logic, reason, and civility preside, without succumbing to bashing other people’s opinions. If an argument or thought process makes the most sense it will draw people in, and even cause people to challenge their own biases and previous opinions. More importantly, you won’t need to tear down another person’s reputation or feelings to do it. 

My question then is, are you a Fire Builder, or a Fire Extinguisher?

Fire Builders are people that provide valuable products or services for others to consume. They constantly and gradually add fuel to their ‘own’ fire, and as it grows bigger it attracts people towards their ideas. This could be anything from a large body of articulate blog articles, scientific research, educational video series, client results etc. James Clear is a great example, as a Biomechanics grad, he started his website writing articles to help people on a vast number of topics. As he continued to write, his fire grew and it attracted more and more people, and now he is a mega-successful author with millions of people going to his website each month. The point is that Fire Builders are creating their reputation by providing value for others. Fire Builders will also help to enlarge the flames of others, through social support, collaboration, and mentorship. 

Fire Extinguishers, on the other hand, are trying to diminish someone else’s fire, rather than focusing on building up their own flame. Take a look at any celebrity’s Instagram comment section, there are endless posts that were devised with the sole purpose of bringing someone else down, literally no value. It’s modern-day bullying, yet it is seemingly socially acceptable. Seriously, try to be a trainer and post a video of an uncoordinated kid learning a new exercise for the first time or a video of a squat 3 millimeters shy of parallel, and you will be attacked so ruthlessly from the internet that you will cry yourself to sleep and question your very existence, let alone your coaching ability. The result of this type of behavior is that both parties now have small fires, which is no use to anyone.

My message is this, focus on building your own flame, no matter your profession or interests. Add value, build others up, and become a roaring flame that causes people to engage with you in a purposeful manner. This isn’t solely for online interactions, but in face-to-face, ‘real-life’ encounters. Don’t try to be an ass or point out other people’s faults or failing just because you can (again, unless they spell ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’...those people should be arrested and don’t deserve opinions). You don’t need to argue or call someone an idiot because you disagree with them. Don’t become a Fire Extinguisher where you purposely douse other people’s flames to make yourself feel superior, that is a lose-lose for everyone involved. 

Now, as Tompall Glaser would say, “Put another log on the fire”.